Needed: Shirts for Tall Dudes from Comedian Jason Good

 Hilarious!

by JASON GOOD on AUGUST 27, 2011

At 6 feet 6 inches, I’m tall enough that normal people clothes don’t fit me. The Big and Tall stores seem to be extremely focused on the “big” part of their commitment, so I’d have to gain a hundred pounds to get anything there.  Even then, the fashion at those stores is either “Pavarotti plays badminton” or “It’s EATIN’ TIME!” They don’t really stock anything that fits me physically, socially or emotionally. There’s also the Land’s End type catalogues which offer “tall” sizes and while the medium-tall fits me pretty well, the fashion just screams “DAD COMIN!” Yes, I know I’m a father, but I would prefer people discover that when they see my children, not my “Sportsman Sweater Fleece Half-Zip.” Yes, that’s a real product, and I’m sure it’s a hit on casual Fridays at the Allstate Insurance Corporate offices. American Apparel also offers a tall size in their t-shirts. Unfortunately, I think it’s some kind of cruel joke- I got one and it came half way down my thigh. You would have to be 7’6″ for this shirt to fit at all. Oh, you want a TALL shirt? Here you go, Manute (click it. I was once called that in high school.)

There’s some conspiracy by short powerful people to prevent tall people from being cool. Like we’ve already been blessed with height, and therefore have no claim on comfort or style. Generally the length of an XL shirt is fine, but the girth allows room for at least two more dudes wearing football pads. Then, when you wash a shirt, it shrinks in length but not in width, so after a month, I’m wearing a cloth box that barely covers my navel. Unless you want to see a grown man doing laundry and listening to NPR in a “Vixen World Tour 1989″ belly shirt, don’t come to my house tomorrow morning around 10:30am.

“But Jason, I’ve seen plenty of very tall NBA stars who look very fashionable.” They have their clothes custom made. Plus, I disagree with you, they all look ridiculous in their double breasted blazers and parachute pants. If you see those guys in their houses when they’re relaxing, they’re always wearing sweat pants and tank tops. That’s my other option for clothing: “The off duty athlete.” At 39 years old, I’m not going to walk around my town wearing knee length nylon shorts and a practice jersey of a dude 20 years my junior. I don’t play basketball, so I’m not wearing those clothes, just like I’m not prancing around in a headband and spandex (I don’t care for cardio salsa classes at the YMCA).

So I do the only thing I can. I wear clothes that are too short. I try to wear cool belts, keep my pants at waist level and my pubic line neatly trimmed. I’m not TRYING to wear my shirts like Robert Plant or that dude from the Black  Crowes, it just so happens that’s the only choice I’ve been given. If you want to see me in a shirt that fits that I also like, sign my petition asking Motley Crue to make their next concert t-shirt in a medium-tall

Here’s some shirts that might work for you Jason:

The Gaston and The Gamble from Longshot Apparel

To read more hilrious musings from Jason go to his site at http://jasongood.net/

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Tall And Not So Sturdy

During an earthquake is a rare time you want to be tall. The 5.8 earthquake that shook the east coast last Monday affected some tall structures.

It seemed that the taller the landmark, the more the damage. The Washington Monument had some cracking in the stones and now has become America’s leaning tower of D.C.

Many engineers say that the tall structures have yet to unveil the real damages that may not show up right away. Although there wasn’t a huge amount of injuries or damages in the grand scheme, the earthquake still gave a little shock to the coast. Other tall structures thankfully did not have significant damage from the observer’s eye. After-shocks may be soon to come issues. And with the hurricane on the way, the east coast is getting their fix for storm warnings.

 

 

 

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Style Tips for Tall Men and Their Shorter Wives

A bad grade shows that money can’t buy style for Kris Humphries. Yet.  But come on WWD, it is not easy for a 6-foot, 9-inch guy who usually wears sweats, t-shirts and mesh shorts to keep up with his Kardashian. But, there are some good pointers there so tall guys take a read. Maybe one day, we can get the Kim Kardashian seal of approval for our Longshot Apparel tall shirts. Better yet, we’ll do a special edition “Humphries” shirt when the time is right, or if Kris needs a hobby during the lockout and an escape from reality TV.

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Tall Hopes in Tahiti

Surfs up! With many surfers dropping out of the ASP World Tour in Tahiti, it leaves a tall range for a potential title winner. Long time professional surfer, Kelly Slater has the chance to win the title this year for an 11th world title. Joel Parkinson (6’0”) is a front-pick and could be Slater’s number one worry on the waves. Long shots this year that could be threats in the water are Damien Hobgood and Jordy Smith. Most of the surfers aren’t necessarily ‘tall’ according to Longshot Apparel sizing, but the waves sure are.

The tournament runs, or should I say surfs, from August 20-31. Best of luck to all the surfers that they get long and tall waves! Follow live updates on Twitter and Facebook to get live updates from the water. Let’s hope the hurricane will be used for good and not evil out on the surf.

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Proud Economies Put Supertalls on the Rise

A good piece on NPR this morning about buildings getting even taller. In Here & Now they profiled the an array of facts that show that even  a  decade after 9/11. Skyscrapers are Still on The Rise. “Supertalls” is the handle. Much like the post a few weeks back about the Greenland Financial Center in Nanjing, I also saw the relatively new “bottle opener” building as my friends call it in Shanghai (otherwise actually called The Shanghai World Financial Center).  In fact that won’t be the tallest for long as the next tallest building is underway and set for completion in 2014. See what it will look like below.

When will this stop? Well no time soon according the the interview this morning.  Architect Jamie von Klemperer told Here & Now’s Sacha Pfeiffer that the buildings are not just a point of pride, but skyscrapers are also:

  • The most efficient use of space. In a two to three acre plot, a supertall can hold 10,000 working people, which can help save land for agriculture
  • The safest place to wait out an earthquake because they are designed to withstand Earth’s natural forces.  (How do you east coasters feel about this?)
  • A hallmark of rising economies. Von Klemperer compares the current building boom in the Middle East and Asia to the birth of high rises in the U.S. between 1910 and 1930
  • The dramatic setting for films from”King Kong” to “James Bond”


What we like the most, and a fact that continues to stand out:  Being tall and supertall is always a source of pride. Well put!

The bottle opener gets a big brother in the 2014 version of the Shanghai skyline.

 

 

 

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Three little words (made somewhere else)

I saw this article on the web today and decided I needed to lift it with a nod to its author Peggy Johnson from Arkansas.  I can so relate and think you may be able to as well.

Posted Tuesday, August 23, 2011, on the Town Crier Blog

I found a bargain the other day.

I was so proud. It was a nice pantsuit. The original price was $79 but, of course, I didn’t pay that.

It had been marked down twice and I was prepared to pay the markdown price of $20.

Then as I walked toward the checkout, a lady heading for the door handed me a 30 percent off coupon good for that shopping day only.

“Thanks,” I said, pleased.

My final price was $14.71 including tax.

The saleslady gave me the nice hangers and wrapped plastic covering over the suit.

When I got home, I decided to try the outfit on once again to make sure it fit properly.

Then I noticed the tag inside the collar. Made inVietnam.

Here we go again, I thought. Everything we Americans purchase seems to be made in a foreign country.

It’s hard to find anything Made inAmerica.

If you don’t believe me, just take a look around your house. You’ll find those decorative vases and statues weren’t made in theUSA, and that goes for a lot of furniture, housewares, cookware, footware, purses, shoes and lingerie. Also hand lotions, creams, soaps. And multitudes of other items.

My Mikasa crystal table clock was Made inAustria.

The same day I bought the pantsuit, I also bought a pair of Dr. Sholl’s “Are you gellin’?” shoes. Those are the shoes with the gel-pac insoles.

As I read the enclosed description about the soft cushioning foam and shock absorbing features, I also read that the shoes were manufactured for Brown Shoe Company. Then the last three little words said, “Made inChina.”

Who would have thought that Dr. Scholl’s shoes would be Made inChina?

I started looking around my house and in my closet.

A brown leather suede vest was Made inIndia.

A Sag Harbor two-piece capris set was Made inIndonesia. So were several otherWorthingtonblouses.

My favorite Gloria Vanderbilt jeans were Made inEgypt.

The pajamas I wore to bed last night were Made inCambodia.

Some Vassarette lingerie was Made inChina.

My JC Penney wash clothes were Made inPakistan.

I don’t know where my Dell computer was manufactured, but the Dell ink cartridges come fromMexicoor the Phillippines.

My beautiful bird calendar was printed inKorea.

My land phones and answering machine were Made inChina.

My porcelain on steel skillet was Made inSpain.

A red, white and blue Beanie Baby elephant sports a tag that reads handmade inChina. The tag notes that others in the collection are made inCanada, Europe andJapan.

Eureka! A Stuart Hall TECH subject notebook displayed a tiny American flag on the back cardboard cover. Made in theUSAwas written so small that I almost overlooked it. Stuart Hall Inc, is located inKansas City,Mo.,USA.

My plastic pencil box was also Made in theUSAinMadison,Wis.

The other day I bought two small 4×6 inch American flags stapled to two round flag pole dowels. Cost was $1 for the two flags. They were Made in theUSA.

My AVON body lotion is Made in theUSA.

Dial soap for men was Made in theUSA, also.

Energizer lithium batteries I recently purchased are Made in theU.S.A.inSt. Louis,Mo.

My scented jar candle was made inMayfield,Ky.,USA.

My point in all this?

Just this: About 25 years ago I listened to a man rant when a factory in his hometown closed down. The manufacturers gave numerous reasons why the shutdown was necessary. Many locals lost their jobs when the company closed its doors. The ranting man was adamant that the real reason for the closing was that the plant would be moved overseas to take advantage of cheap labor.

That’s exactly what happened and that business continues to operate from overseas locations today.

Numerous manufacturers have followed suit by outsourcing their products overseas.

Now here inAmericawe are in an unemployment crisis. All around us we see able bodied men and women who cannot find work. They are filing bankruptcy and losing their homes all overAmerica. And savings, pension funds and stocks have plummeted.

I can’t pretend to know the reason why or what could stimulate a turnaround.

But it stands to reason that more jobs would be available if businesses created more jobs within our borders.

Or if Americans bought more Made in theUSAproducts.

The first step is to read the labels.

It might be an eye-opener.

 

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Remember When Being in The Paper was Cool?

Reality bites, and so does this headline.  These two poor tall twins sure got shafted with this front page headline in today’s Oregonian. Okay, I’m guessing they are tall because they look it. The article online is much tamer of a heading so either someone pulled it, or someone “stroked it”. Anyone have some headline suggestions? Remember, to keep this PG-13…this is an article about increased youth participation in triathlons.

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Upping the Ante

  • The Prettiest Boy in the World. Dude looks like a lady. Andrej Pejic, a male. Thank you NY Magazine for setting us straight. We think. Do we dare ask how it’s hanging?


  • Who needs the All Blacks when you The Tall Blacks are winning tourneys left and right? Will outfit the team with tall shirts if you just give us a jingle! New Zealand Herald

 

Six-foot-four and full of feist

  • Anthony Bourdain is listening, reading and following these days – see his hit list. The New York Times


  • On Bourdain’s hit list is Rome by Danger Mouse, featuring six-foot-two Jack White and Norah Jones. An essential personal soundtrack for the summer. See the details in Pitchfork.


  • Poorly dressed tech moguls are using Ashton Kutcher to up their fashion cred. Just check out the September issue of Wired. Details in the The New York Times.

    Ben Stiller perhaps?

     

  • Guess tall guy Kutcher’s tech is getting him in trouble. Tweet-pimps beware! Forbes


  • NBC has a thing for tall green men. Herman Munster is back in the house with a remake slated for fall. Hollywood Reporter


  • Yesterday was Arvydas Sabonis Day in Portland, Or to commentrat his induction into the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame. Go Sa-bas! The Columbian

    How about that stomping action?


  • Why are military uniforms so silly? Look at these stems in Wired.



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Plaid on Plaid, A Parity of Balance

Back in the day college themed parties were the only occasions where plaid on plaid was a socially acceptable style statement and then only between the hours of 9 p.m. and 2 a.m., e.g. Chaos with Clothes, Evening with Golf Pros. Today’s fashion trends however allow creative mixing and matching, or unmatching with plaids and stripes. We dare you try one of our Longshot shirts and sport this fashion trend yourself.

Park & Bond provide details on how to pull off the plaid on plaid look with confidence and style.  Here are some quick tips to get your checks and stripes in fashion harmony.

-Use dark and lighter colored plaids to offset each other.

-The colors must match if the pattern is going to be different.

-The larger the check, the smaller the counterpart.

-Sport it well with sureness. The minute you doubt the combo, others will too.

While the list of rules for working plaid on plaid is short they must be followed to the tee lest you get sent back to the frat. Next up, denim on denim.

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A Quote to Dress By, Care of Michael Drakes

“For men, fashion is for kids. I always thought Prince Charles was a stylish dresser. Lots of Englishmen think he’s old-fashioned, but my Italian friends agree with me. Men should be stylish, not fashionable.”

The Wall Street Journal, which interviewed Michael Drake as he leaves his iconic company, Drakes London. Just read it. There’s nothing else for us to say.
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